How to Shake Off a Hit in Your Testicles

A brave slide into the opponents slap shot and… Bam! There it is, the worst pain of all. Three ways how to get rid of this dull, vicious, penetrating ache.

___STEADY_PAYWALL___

Betty White, the famous Grand Dame of American comedy, once wondered: „Why do people say ‚grow some balls‘? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.“ And she was damn right.

If, during an act of heroic defensive work, a ball, blade, shoe or whatever else hit your testicles and you started to see angels circling around your head, you need help. Follow at least one of these rules:

1. Jump on your heels.

Stand tall, stretch your back and help yourself with a few skips. Try to land on the heel, so that small shock waves move through your body. But be careful. Avoid jumps that would be too high as it might hurt your back.

2. Run as fast as you can.

Sounds silly, but works. Before the pain spreads over your whole lower body make a few sprints. Change directions and don’t stop until you feel the pain fading away again.

3. Redistribute the pain.

Doesn’t work as constant as number one and two, but if you provide your body with some different pain, i.e. by pinching yourself in the arm or slapping your thigh, the testicle pain might feel weaker. Just a question of relation.

No matter what procedure you choose, if the pain remains, you feel dizzy or sick, immediately visit a doctor. In 2013 IBK Dalen’s Anton Ermling got one testicle squashed and had to have it amputated to save his life. So rather try to avoid hits of this kind in the first place.